


He's the Prettiest Boy on the Island

by soxos



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Crushes, Feelings, Lack of Communication, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Confusion, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 17:52:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18211622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soxos/pseuds/soxos
Summary: He saw at least five different emotions flash through Komaeda's eyes, his expression momentarily twisting as if in pain. Hinata felt a pang of guilt. He promised that he'd let him down easy, but there he was, acting as if he was disgusted with him, even thought nothing could be further from the truth. He really hated his bluntness sometimes.-Hinata hears a rumor and it sends him into a downward spiral of confusion.





	He's the Prettiest Boy on the Island

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative title: Gay Thoughts™
> 
> So yeah, I wanted to write some prologue Komahina. It's a slight canon divergence since I rearranged the sequence of events a bit, but it's nothing major. 
> 
> Warnings for some casual homophobia (not really intended as such, but it could be interpreted that way) and some mild angst at the end.

“I think I'll go exploring the island once more, just in case I find anything new... I'd be really happy if you joined me! I mean, of course you don't have to... but I'd be really glad. I'll see you later!”

 

Komaeda gave him a small wave and ran off with a carefree smile on his face. Hinata gave him a half hearted smile in return, mostly focusing on his breakfast. Komaeda could be so cheery sometimes, it baffled his mind – _especially_ so early in the morning.

 

“Ugh, finally,” Soda groaned, moving in closer to Hinata. “He was beginning to get on my nerves.”

 

“What do you mean?” Hinata looked at him, confused. Yeah, Komaeda _was_ cheery, but he wasn't a bad person or anything. It didn't seem right to talk about him like that. He angrily stabbed the bowl of rice in front of him with one chopstick, suddenly feeling irritated.

 

Souda smiled awkwardly. “W-well... that flirting of his is pretty annoying, you know?”

 

“Huh? What flirting?”

 

“D-don't tell me... you didn't notice?”

 

“Notice what?” Hinata was getting more and more irritated by the second. Why did people insist on talking to him during breakfast anyway? Couldn't he get a moment of peace to just eat his damn rice?

 

“Dude, that guy was totally flirting with you.”

 

Hinata almost choked on his food. _What?_ “No, he wasn't,” he argued, “he's just being friendly.” _That's what it is, right?_

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Souda dismissed him, apparently finished with his breakfast, now focused on peeling an orange, “whatever, he's kind of creeping me out. Can you just reject him so he can stop with that?”

 

“What?” Hinata's mood was officially ruined now. “Why do you even think he's flirting with me?”

 

“Dude, come on. It's obvious from the way he talks to you. Plus, he's always staring at you in that weird way of his. Ugh.”

 

Hinata tilted his head. He was giving it some thought now. “Well... he has been really friendly... but there's no way he's actually into me, right? I mean, he's not _actually_ gay.”

 

Souda looked at him as if he was an idiot – which stung, especially since it was _Souda_ who was looking at him this way. He knew he wasn't the smartest person alive, but _really?_

 

“Oh yeah, you guys are totally gross,” Saionji chimed in with a smirk on her face. She was sitting right next to them, so she probably overheard the whole conversation. Hinata suddenly felt like dying. “He's totally desperate for you to notice him. It's really pathetic.”

 

 _He's being friendly! Not that you'd know what that means,_ Hinata had to bite his tongue in order to stop himself from saying his thoughts out loud.

 

“Just stop,” he finally said, giving up. He totally lost his appetite thanks to these guys.

 

“It's the truth,” Saionji stuck out her tongue, “go follow him and just ask him, you'll know I'm right. Then you can confess love to each other and finally leave us normal people alone.”

 

“Yeah, I'm leaving,” Hinata stood up, his mood now completely ruined. He knew that he shouldn't take Saionji seriously, that she treated everyone like this, but it felt like she crossed the line today.

 

 _Komaeda isn't gay, and even if he was, so what? Does it matter?_ Even if he really had a crush on him, it wouldn't matter. _I'd just let him down gently, it's fine_. Not that it would even happen in the first place, because those were just baseless speculations.

 

He angrily ran down the stairs, desperate to get away from all the ruckus.

 

He entered the lobby, running into Nanami.

 

_When did she even leave? I don't even think I saw her there._

 

“Good morning, Hinata-kun,” she greeted him, “want to play some games together?”

 

Hinata though about it. It's not like he had anything else to do, and he could at least cool his head off this way. A small, nagging voice in his head told him that he could also efficiently avoid Komaeda this way.

 

He gave himself a mental slap for that. It wasn't Komaeda's fault that people were saying shit about him.

 

“Yeah, ok,” Hinata finally nodded, sitting down next to Nanami.

 

“You look distressed,” she noted, not averting her eyes from her game. Hinata had no idea how she could tell without even looking at him.

 

He simply shook his head. “It's nothing.”

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

“I don't know,” Hinata sighed, watching as Nanami killed her enemies on the screen, “it's stupid.”

 

“It's fine, just tell me.”

 

“Well...,” Hinata fidgeted a bit, “the others were being annoying, especially Saionji.”

 

“You shouldn't take her insults personally, you know.”

 

“I know, it's just... uh, this is really embarrassing...”

 

“Come on, you can tell me.”

 

Hinata took a deep breath. “They were saying that Komaeda has a crush on me, and then they proceeded to make fun of us both. They're all acting like five year olds.”

 

Nanami didn't say anything, she just continued to stare at the screen of her DS, focusing on her winning streak. She was _really_ good – although that was to be expected – but her silence was making Hinata anxious. Did he say something wrong?

 

Nanami finally paused her game, looking straight at Hinata. It was the first time she was really focused on something other than gaming and it made Hinata nervous. “We all thought you knew that already.”

 

Hinata's breath got caught in his throat. “Knew what? And who's _we_?”

 

Nanami just shrugged, leaning against her seat. “I guess the others were probably rude about it... that's no good.”

 _That doesn't really answer my question._ “You think so too, Nanami?”

 

“Yeah,” she nodded, “do you remember when we were at the beach? Didn't you notice the way he was looking at you?”

 

“Looking... at me?”

 

“Yeah, he was smiling and winking at you. He really wanted you to look at him. It was kinda annoying.”

 

Hinata knew Nanami was right. He tried to recall the moment – him staying at the beach while Komaeda went swimming with the others – giving him a bright smile and a wink or two, constantly looking at him, in his swimsuit shorts and completely wet -

 

_No, no, no, this is bad, this is really bad. Focus._

 

“How was it annoying?” He asked instead, trying to chase away his thoughts. If he went down that road, there wasn't any way to go back. He knew this. It was scary and new and completely insane, and he didn't want these thoughts.

 

“Never mind,” Nanami puffed out her cheeks, turning her attention back on the game. It seemed like she didn't have anything else to say on the matter.

 

They spent the rest of the day in moderate silence, just relaxing and playing video games, Nanami beating him every time.

 

* * *

 

He stumbled into his cottage. It was late at night, the moon already shining through his window. He collapsed on the bed, his worries once again catching up with him.

 

_How am I gonna face everyone tomorrow? ...How am I gonna face Komaeda tomorrow?_

 

He rubbed his eyes, already feeling his anxiety levels rising. He had no idea how he would fall asleep like this. He felt his body tensing up, and he wished tomorrow would never come. It wasn't a _huge_ deal, but it still put him in an uncomfortable position.

 

 _It's fine, it's fine,_ he tried calming himself down, _I'll just... ignore all stupid remarks, and then I'll talk to Komaeda. I'm just gonna ask him straight away, no bullshit – I'll just ask him if he's gay and then maybe if he has a crush on someone. I can do that, it's not like we're super close or anything. And Komaeda doesn't seem like someone who would be offended by that question. Yeah, it's all fine. It's gonna be fine._

 

Somehow, his thoughts managed to calm him down, and he fell into a deep sleep.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, he managed to run into Komaeda by the pool.

 

He groaned internally. Just seeing his face reminded him of the promise he made to himself last night. And there was no one else around, too – it was almost like a sign.

 

“Good morning, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda smiled at him brightly, just like he always did – and Hinata could feel his stomach doing flip flops.

 

_Let's just get this over with._

 

“Good morning,” he greeted, trying to smile as well but ultimately failing. He could feel his entire face twitching. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Huh?” Komaeda's expression changed completely, his mouth now making a cute O shape and Hinata caught himself staring at his face for a while, before tearing his eyes away, focusing on the pool water instead. The way the morning sun already reflected on the pool's surface was calming – not really interesting per say, but it helped to ease Hinata's nerves at least a little.

 

“Yeah, I, uh,” Hinata began, scratching the back of his neck. God, this was so _awkward._ “There were some rumors, and I just wanted to ask you about them.”

 

“Rumors? About me?” Komaeda tilted his head, his white curls bouncing around his head at the motion. “What kind of rumors?”

 

Hinata sucked in air through his teeth, completely averting his eyes.

 

_Just ask. It's not that difficult. Just open your damn mouth and ask the damn question._

 

“A-are you... uh... are you gay?”

 

He cringed as soon as the question left his mouth. He knew that there was no better way to go about it, but it still felt completely terrible to just ask outright like that – it was something really personal, something he probably had no business asking, this was a mistake, he should have just ignored the whole thing -

 

“Yes, I am! Why? Is it a problem?”

 

_Huh?_

 

_What?_

 

“N-no!” Hinata stumbled over his own words, trying to shake off the sudden shock. “I-it's not a problem!”

 

“It's fine if it is, you know. People have hated me for less.”

 

 _How can you just say that so casually?_ “I don't hate you!” Hinata assured him, “I was just curious, that's all.”

 

“I see. What is it about me that gave it away?”

 

Hinata shook his head. “I don't know. You'd have to ask the others.”

 

“Well, it's not like I'm hiding it or anything,” Komaeda gave him a warm smile, and it made Hinata feel slightly tingly. He knew it was probably bad and really disrespectful, but it was as if he saw Komaeda in a new light.

 

_Calm down. It's not like he's a different person now. So what if he likes guys? It doesn't change anything._

 

He thoughts kept racing, but they didn't stop him from staring at Komaeda's face, noticing small details he omitted before. He noticed Komaeda's long, white eyelashes fluttering, and the barest hint of freckles on the bridge of his nose, and his pink, chapped lips, his dark circles -

 

He had to stop himself from staring.

 

“S-so,” he managed to choke out, breaking the awkward silence, “do you have a type, or...?”

 

Komaeda's eyes shot wide open. “Hinata-kun wants to know what kind of men I like? Why is that, I wonder?”

 

“I-I'm just curious...”

 

“You're very curious today, aren't you? Is that your way of saying you're interested?”

 

“Of course not!” He yelled out before he could stop himself.

 

He saw at least five different emotions flash through Komaeda's eyes, his expression momentarily twisting as if in pain. Hinata felt a pang of guilt. He promised that he'd let him down easy, but there he was, acting as if he was disgusted with him, even thought nothing could be further from the truth. He really hated his bluntness sometimes.

 

“I was only joking!” Komaeda smiled at him again, his voice apologetic. “Now, let me see... I don't think I have a type... What about Hinata-kun? What kind of girls do you like?”

 

“W-what kind of question is that?”

 

“It's the same question you asked me!” Komaeda laughed.

 

 _I guess that's fair,_ Hinata thought, _it was wrong of me to ask him that._ “I... uh...”

 

“Someone like Owari-san, perhaps?”

 

“W-what are you talking about? Cut it out!”

 

“I saw the way you were looking at her, you know,” Komaeda was laughing, the hurt in his eyes gone now, completely replaced by a mischievous look, “you like sexy bodies! Admit it!”

 

“M-maybe I do! So what!” His entire face was on fire now, and he felt like hiding forever. He was a teenage boy, it was normal to think about this sort of stuff – it's not like he could control his thoughts on that front.

 

“Nothing, nothing!” Komaeda kept laughing in a carefree way, his eyes sparkling with joy. “Do you want to join me for breakfast?”

 

“Huh?” Hinata let out a confused noise before remembering that he was supposed to attend breakfast. “I... uh... I'm not really hungry today...”

 

Komaeda stopped laughing, suddenly looking really worried. “Hinata-kun, are you feeling sick? You have been acting a bit strange today... should I go fetch Tsumiki-san?”

 

“No, no,” Hinata assured him, faking a painful expression, “I'm fine, I just... I feel a bit dizzy, but it's okay, I think I'll just go lay down a bit for a moment.”

 

“In that case, do you want me to go with you? I'm not really hungry either...”

 

“No, no, you go on ahead,” Hinata insisted, “I'll just go back to my cottage for now... I'll see you later.”

 

“If you think it's okay, then... fine... but if you don't turn up for lunch, I'll go check on you, okay?”

 

“Fine,” Hinata rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed just to retain some semblance of dignity. In actuality, he found Komaeda's concern a bit flattering.

 

As for his now undeniable little crush, he found that flattering as well. It sent his whole world spinning, and he really _did_ feel dizzy – but not the sick kind of dizzy, more like... confused? _Horny?_

 

He bit his lip, turning around and running towards his cottage, deliberately ignoring Komaeda's gaze and his voice yelling something after him. He couldn't register the words, he just heard the slightly breathy tone of his voice, wavering in the air, filling his mind with dirty thoughts.

 

 _What is happening to me?_ He panicked, slamming the door of his cottage behind him. _Why am I acting like this?_

 

He slumped down on the bed, suddenly feeling hot all over. He didn't know what it was, but something about Komaeda – the way he just admitted his sexual orientation, the way he smiled at him, his voice, his facial expressions – it all resonated with him in ways he didn't though was possible. Plus, Komaeda liked him, as a friend and maybe as something more – no one really liked Hinata like this before and the feeling of it was intoxicating.

 

 _What the fuck does he even see in me?_ He thought as he tugged on his tie, hoping to cool himself down, sweat already forming on his forehead.

 

It was too late to fight his arousal. He could feel himself getting hard, and his body grew hotter by every second. His breathing was shallow and he fidgeted on the bed, feeling his shirt soaking up with sweat. He had no idea what caused him to react like this, except seeing Komaeda – the morning sun emphasizing his features, making his pale skin glow in an almost ethereal way -

 

That was it, wasn't it? Komaeda was pretty. He saw it properly for the first time.

 

Hinata wasn't someone who would focus on appearances. He knew that all of the girls on the island were cute – he wasn't blind – but when it came to the guys, he tended to just accept it as a matter of fact.

 

But... Komaeda was definitely the prettiest boy on the island.

 

He tried wiping the sweat off of his forehead with the short sleeve of his shirt, but it was futile. He was fighting a losing battle and he knew it.

 

His resolve crumbled like a house of cards, the image of Komaeda's warm smile spurring him on. He propped himself up against the pillow, making himself comfortable, and he tugged at the bed curtains around him, obscuring himself from the camera's view. Sure, the curtains were see-through, but it was better than nothing – at least it gave him the illusion of privacy.

 

He took a deep breath and brought his hand lower, slowly palming himself through his jeans. He was completely hard by now, and he cursed his body for being so quick to react. It wasn't like him to lose control so easily, it wasn't...

 

He recalled the beach again. Komaeda didn't just have a pretty face, he had a nice body too – a bit too skinny and slightly lanky, his bones jutting out – Hinata thought he looked a bit unhealthy back then, but it wasn't too noticeable – but he had nice chest and thighs and ass and the way the sea droplets glistened on his pale skin and the way he was smiling at him and the way he was calling his name -

 

“ _Hinata-kun! Hinata-kun!”_

 

It was so innocent, so cheerful, so full of affection.

 

Hinata slipped his hand below the waistband of his underwear and tightly gripped his cock, desperately wanting to overwrite the feeling of shame with pleasure.

 

“ _Hinata-kun... Ah... Hinata-kun...”_

 

The voice in his head changed completely. It was more sultry now, more ragged, low and out of breath. They weren't at the beach anymore, instead, they both found their way into Hinata's cottage – Komaeda was still wet from the ocean, and they both collapsed on the bed -

 

Hinata bit back a moan. He desperately tugged down his jeans along with his boxers, finally freeing his cock. He let out a sigh of relief, which turned into a quiet moan as he gripped himself again.

 

The imaginary Komaeda was now on top of him, droplets of water falling down and dirtying the bed sheets – he was still smiling, and then he bent down to kiss him -

 

Hinata could almost feel it. Warm, chapped lips on his, shy at first, gentle and careful. Hinata would bury his fingers into Komaeda's hair and kiss back – he'd be a bit more bold, slipping his tongue into Komaeda's mouth and bucking into him, pulling at his hair – he'd kiss away that ever present smile and replace it with raw lust.

 

That's what he wanted – more than anything. He wanted Komaeda to want him.

 

He gripped himself tighter, slightly speeding up his movements. He closed his eyes, imagining Komaeda on top of him. He wondered what kind of person Komaeda would be in bed – would he be shy? Dominant? Gentle? He definitely seemed like a people pleaser, but would that translate to the bedroom?

 

Hinata shook his head. It didn't matter. The Komaeda in his head wasn't real. He could be anything Hinata wanted him to be.

 

He swallowed, his mind racing with possibilities. He eased his movements in order to catch his breath, sliding two of his fingers along the side of his length, teasing himself. His cock twitched, desperate to be touched, but Hinata ignored his urges. He gently rubbed the tip, coating his palm with the slowly gathering precum.

 

The Komaeda in his mind was doing the same.

 

“So big, Hinata-kun,” his eyes would be wide open, almost in awe, “you look so good right now.”

 

“Nnnn...”

 

“Want me to suck you off?”

 

“God, yes.”

 

Hinata doubted the real Komaeda would be so confident, but it didn't matter – he was already picturing him sinking down, getting comfortable between his legs, placing small kisses on his abdomen – all while looking up at him, his green eyes sparkling with excitement.

 

Komaeda's eyes were unbelievably pretty on its own, but when looking up at him like this – just that image alone was almost enough to make him lose his mind.

 

He pictured Komaeda rubbing his cheek against his cock, his smile widening, enjoying the sensation. He would blush so prettily, blood filling his cheeks in the most endearing way, and he'd look so gorgeous and inviting – Hinata would lose his patience and grab the hold of Komaeda's wild locks, directing his mouth towards his aching cock, pushing past his pretty lips and finally, finally -

 

“Ah,” he moaned, no longer caring about his surroundings. His window was wide open and the camera was running, but he didn't care about who heard him and who saw him. His mind was blank and all he could think about was the pleasure he was giving himself.

 

Komaeda would finally take him into his mouth, his lips stretched around his cock, slowly, slowly sinking down – and it was the hottest thing Hinata ever dared to imagine. Komaeda was his _friend_ , and yet here he was, jerking off to the though of him sucking him off, and it was so wrong on so many levels, but he couldn't stop his thoughts. In fact, his imagination kept getting dirtier and dirtier, and he desperately increased his hand's tempo. He pictured Komaeda drooling around him, filthy and frantic, greedily stuffing his face with Hinata's dick, licking around him, his mouth hot and wet -

 

“Fuck,” he brought his free hand towards his face, covering his mouth in order to stifle his moans.

 

He felt himself getting closer, and he imagined burying his hands in Komaeda's hair, desperately thrusting into his mouth, purposefully making him choke. He'd brush the sweaty strands of his hair aside, tuck it behind his ear in an almost affectionate gesture, and he'd watch him. He'd tell him to look at him, and he'd stare into these green eyes filled with pure admiration -

 

He imagined pulling Komaeda off and coming all over his face, covering his cheeks, nose, forehead, even getting some in his hair, completely marking him as his.

 

His entire body tensed up, and Hinata could feel heat pooling in his stomach. He came with the image of Komaeda grinning up at him, licking his lips, his face painted white.

 

His orgasm seemed to last forever. He never felt such immense pleasure before - it swallowed him whole and held his body hostage. It was as if he was losing his mind, his sight blurring over, his mind hazy, shuddering -

 

_Komaeda, Komaeda, Komaeda..._

 

He took a deep breath, finally looking down, cringing at the sight of his cum covered hand.

 

He couldn't erase what happened, but that didn't stop the guilt that was slowly creeping in. He suddenly felt like the worst person alive. Komaeda was so nice to him, he trusted him enough to come out to him, and this was how Hinata reacted. This was how Hinata treated him.

 

He wiped his hand onto the edge of the sheet on the side of the bed, absolutely disgusted with himself. He wanted to disappear, to crawl six feet under and never reemerge again.

 

There was the possibility of someone hearing him too. _Fuck._

 

He cursed his horny self for not thinking clearly.

 

He sighed, the heavy feeling in his chest intensifying as he slowly managed to get up. He headed towards the bathroom, thoroughly washing his hands, avoiding his gaze in the mirror. He couldn't face himself after that whole ordeal.

 

Still, along with guilt, he felt something else. Affection, maybe. And some remnants of arousal. And curiosity. He pumped a large amount of soap on his hands, steadily growing more angry with himself, the amount of emotions making him light-headed. He scrubbed his hands clean as he gritted his teeth.

 

It wasn't just about Komaeda. It was about him. He never thought to question his sexuality until now. He just went about his life, not really questioning anything at all – but this current situation seemed to change everything. Being trapped on a tropical island and being forced to coexist with his classmates seemed to finally take his toll on him. The atmosphere was too calm, too relaxing, too happy – like a summer dream, the hot air getting into his head and making him feel like this.

 

It wasn't his fault he couldn't think straight.

 

He resisted the urge to bang his head against the sink as more images of Komaeda flashed through his mind, each one more and more revealing and shameless. He wondered how it would feel to return the favor, but he quickly abandoned the thought – there was a huge difference between imagining a guy sucking him off and him doing the deed. He wasn't sure what the difference was, exactly – but it didn't stop him from picturing Komaeda naked, sprawled out on his bed, moaning at Hinata's touch.

 

His mind was going crazy from imagining someone so ethereal in such a base situation. Komaeda truly looked like someone from a different world – there was something angelic about him. Maybe it was his warm smile, fair skin, gentle eyes, white hair waving around his head like a halo -

_A real life angel._

 

He wondered if the carpet matched the drapes. He resisted the urge to punch the mirror.

 

* * *

 

He sat down in the chair in front of the dining table, defeated. He promised that he'd turn up for lunch, even if he really, really didn't feel like it. He wasn't really hungry and his mind was still fuzzy – but he decided to have a light snack, at least. He grabbed an apple from the bowl in front of him and bit into it, relishing in the sweetness of it, letting the juices run down his chin, hoping that no one would notice him or try to talk to him or -

 

“Ah, Hinata-kun! I'm so glad you're here! Are you feeling better?”

 

The voice sent shiver down his spine. He looked up, meeting Komaeda's friendly gaze, the sight of it making him wish he could turn invisible. He hoped Komaeda would just pass by him, ignoring him completely, but that was wishful thinking. Of course it had to end up like this.

 

He slowly chewed on his apple and gave Komaeda a small nod. Maybe if he didn't react to him too much, he would leave him alone. He'd keep his answers short and maybe scowl at him a few times and he was bound to leave. _Right?_

 

“I'm so glad!” Komaeda exclaimed, “I was worried. You left so suddenly, and you looked like you were in pain. I'm so happy you're here!”

 

“Okay,” Hinata retorted, taking another bite from his apple. He hoped he sounded unapproachable enough. _Just go away. I don't want to talk to you. Go away._

 

Komaeda didn't seem to pick up on any of his signals and sat down across him. _Ugh._

 

He reached towards the bowl and picked up a banana because _of course he fucking did._ Hinata groaned out loud, unable to keep his frustration under control. He just wanted to disappear.

 

He chewed on his apple as he watched Komaeda peel the banana, his fate already sealed. He thought about confessing for a second. He knew that the heavy feeling in his chest would be lifted if he just said _Hey, Komaeda, I think you're really hot and I'm confused, want to help me? Preferably in private?_ But he couldn't say this with the others around. At least Saionji seemed to be preoccupied with munching on candy far away from him.

 

He watched as Komaeda bit into the banana, and luckily for him there was nothing sexual about it, but seeing his lips connect with the phallic object was already too much. _There's no way he's doing this on purpose, otherwise he'd made a bigger show out of it. Right?_ His thoughts kept racing as he stared at Komaeda's lips, giving up on any semblance of subtleness. He stared unashamedly, practically devouring him with his eyes.

 

“Are you sure you're feeling better? You look a bit out of it.”

 

He tore his eyes away and looked into Komaeda's eyes instead – although that wasn't much better. It was like Komaeda saw right through him.

 

And Hinata was never a good liar.

 

“Sure,” he answered, not even attempting to mask his feelings. His shoulders sagged low as he sank into his seat, nibbling on his half eaten apple. It tasted really bitter all of a sudden.

 

“Does it have to do anything with what I said earlier?” Komaeda mused, taking another bite of his banana. It was infuriating. “If you want me to avoid you, I can do that. I understand how you might be uncomfortable now.”

 

“That's not it!” Hinata exclaimed. He really, really hoped that Komaeda didn't think of him as a bigot. “It's fine, I'm just... thinking about stuff.”

 

“Thinking... about stuff?”

 

“Yeah, you know,” Hinata waves his hands, “why we're here, why is Usami making us do this, why I don't remember my talent...”

 

He wasn't lying. _Technically._

 

“Oh... well, that's understandable. But you really don't need to worry... we just need to gather the fragments, right?”

 

“Right...”

 

“There's nothing to worry about,” Komaeda smiled at him, resting his head against his palm, his expression gentle and affectionate, “although I understand why you would be anxious. Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

 _You could follow me into my cottage and kiss me,_ _for starters,_ Hinata thought, _and then you could get on your knees and -_

 

_Oh god._

 

“No, it's fine,” Hinata replied, “I'm just feeling a bit under the weather, that's it.”

 

“Well... if you say so. Please don't hesitate to tell me if you need anything!”

 

Hinata's mind went to a dark place – and at that point, there was no salvation. He could feel his arousal growing as he listened to Komaeda's soothing voice, staring at his fluttering eyelashes. It was almost torturous. Komaeda simply rambled on, looking so pretty and cute and being so supportive and – it was too much. Hinata felt like kissing him on the spot, but he resisted the urge and calmly stood up instead.

 

“I'm gonna head back,” he announced, firmly gripping the half eaten apple in his hand, “thanks for being supportive, Komaeda. I... really appreciate it.”

 

“I - ah... thank you... you really don't need to say something like that...”

 

“See you later,” Hinata said, rushing his farewell, quickly walking away without looking back. He hoped the tent in his pants wasn't too apparent, although he suspected that Komaeda took a direct note of it – that guy was more perceptive than he let on, and Hinata hated that. Komaeda was probably playing dumb in order to spare him the embarrassment. He had to notice staring at him, he had to notice his arousal, his feelings towards him – his confusion -

 

He picked up his walking speed and he finally reached his cottage.

 

_This is ridiculous. I just came, how is it possible to get so riled up that soon? What is wrong with me?_

 

He collapsed onto his bead once again, consumed by lustful thoughts. He imagined fucking Komaeda in every possible position, he imagined his moans and expressions and how he would look underneath him. It was as if he was possessed, as if Komaeda cast a spell on him, enticing him with his body and friendly demeanor. He imagined him screaming in pleasure, moaning Hinata's name, claiming to want him and only him. He imagined fucking Komaeda in every place on the island, and he imagined holding his hand in public – in front of his classmates -

 

That was the point of no return. He felt gross and corrupted. There was no joy in his orgasm this time, just resentfulness.

 

He fell asleep eventually, plagued by taunting wet dreams.

 

It all felt like a joke.

 

It was still a joke when he woke up, and it was still a joke when everything went wrong and he learned the true purpose of this peaceful island life. The universe was mocking him, enjoying his misery in every possible way.

 

Even in this miserable situation, he still couldn't keep his eyes off of Komaeda – he was simply too perplexing, and Hinata could also sense a subtle change in him ever since the killing game was announced – he seemed even more upbeat and optimistic, and it excited and terrified Hinata at the same time. He also grew more curious. Curious about Komaeda's attitude, about his supposed crush, about his sexuality, about his life. He felt a lot of feelings besides his curiosity – but he decided to keep those feelings locked deep inside, never letting them on under any circumstances.

 

He would keep all of his feelings at bay. Komaeda didn't need to know, no one needed to know – it would only serve as an unnecessary distraction in their situation.

 

He would keep quiet. He had to.

 

* * *

 

All of his confusion disappeared after the first trial.

 

All that remained was the feeling of betrayal.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on tumblr @ssoxos!


End file.
